CHINESE-INDONESIAN WEDDING & MY DREAM WEDDING
August 8, 2016
It's true that I'm not like most girls you know, but I will be lying if I say that I don't have a vision about my dream wedding.
Weddings in Indonesia are BIG BIG BIG. Especially those held by Chinese-Indonesian. I was able to round up 11 major differences that are a big NO for me. Let's dig in.
1. The number of guest is normally at minimum 300 people. I know Chinese people normally have big family, but inviting the girlfriend of your brother's friend is unnecessary, unless she is your best friend.
2. No RSVP, so there will always be leftover foods.
3. HUUUUUGEEEEE CAKE. Made out of cork. 8 tier isn't high enough for them.
4. Too many rules and custom until you forget to actually enjoy the day. The rundown is crazy!
5. Unnecessary spending on things like theatrical dancers, celebrity singer, MC, etc. I'm sure there is someone who is talkative enough in your family to master the ceremony as well as some people with golden voice to entertain the guests.
6. No wine and/ champagne. Purely soft drink mixed with water. And ice tea.
7. EVERYONE IS ALWAYS LATE.
8. Huge stage, extravagant decoration and lighting. They spend great amount of money on those things. It's blinding.
9. Some bestman, bridesmaids, groomsmen and maid of honor are actually don't know the couple that well and they get paid to be one! Hahaha funny.
10. Most of the brides rent a gown for good $3000 when they could buy one, just more plain. Why? Because extravagant ball-gown with a lot of beadings, crystals and long train topped with chapel veil is a formula to move around freely in your wedding day. Forget about your future daughter wearing a something borrowed then.
11. Equally big engagement party. I don't see the point in here. It's a waste of money. Why don't you just cut to the asking your girlfriend's parent for permission-getting down on one knee-wedding planning?
Now, let's get to my vision, people.
I don't want a party. I envision a simple rooftop dinner when he (who are you?) gets down on one knee. Top of the Rock NYC is also my dream place to get proposed at. And I would be lying if I don't want a 1 carat round-cut Tiffany solitaire/diamond band (Harry Winston and Cartier will also do hahaha).
I've said this a million times : wasting more than $500 for pre-wedding photos is stupid. Chinese-Indonesian like their pre-wedding photos to be extravagant and expensive. They wouldn't mind spending hundred and hundred dollars to rent a tux and a gown and to fly the entire photographer team to Dubai. And I can't even see their faces in many of their photos just because they want to accentuate the scenery. Cra-zy.
I envision my pre-wedding photos to be taken at a coffee shop, a monochromatic photobooth-like studio, and a bed. I want it to look as fun and as intimate (in a romantic way ya!) as possible. No drones necessary.
A-Line is my top pick, then Sheath and ball gown (but not that puffy). I want it to be sleeveless, sweetheart neckline mostly, tulle, a tiny bling belt, ivory/white, no train, as simple as possible. I definitely don't want lace, satin, taffeta, bling, beaded, embellishment, or anything. Well I still can't picture myself in a Fit and Flare or Mermaid, so just stick with that 3 sillhouttes first. But it's a possibility. I loveeeee Hayley and Monique. I also love Vera but her style is a little ball gown-y and over the top (and damn expensive). Maybe I can afford the White by Vera Wang. And I will definitely BUY, not rent.
I know I'm tall, but what the hell, those white heels are pretty!
I envision my bouquet to be white peonies, arranged in posey bouquet style, with a little leaf coming out and the stem to be tied together with tiny white ribbon. I envision my make up to be nude glam and my hair to be just like the photo above, without accessories. I envision my veil to be mid-length, comb style with no lining, no edge, no beading whatsoever.
Dear my future husband, I require you to wear a BLACK single-breasted, single vent, 1 button, fitted, notch lapel suit with jetted pocket and 3 kissing sleeve button of Tom Ford/Armani/Boss. It's an investment really. And a black derby dress shoes from Ferragamo, yet another investment. And your boutonniere should match my bouquet, which is a single white peony. Plus, you will wear a matching black bow tie. And you will BUY all of them. Again, it's an investment.
I only want 1 MOH and 1 bridesmaid. I envision them wearing the exact same thing : long black sleeveless dress with spaghetti strap and v-neck. I want their shoes to be black strappy heels. Their bouquet will be nosegay-style baby's breath with tiny white ribbon to tied the stem. Their make up will be nude and their hair will be styled just like the picture above. And I will buy them those dresses and heels.
For bestman & groomsmen, the fitted and the color of the suit is exactly like the groom's, minus the tie. Bestman & groomsmen boutonniere will be baby's breath to match the bridesmaids and maid of honour's bouquet. For father of the groom & bride, their suit will be fitted exactly like the groom and in black. Their boutonniere will be 2 little white peonies. And I don't really care what shoes they will be wearing because they will be wearing their own. And those matching suits will be rented! And if my future husband has brother(s), his/their style will be the same as his/their father.
For the mother of the groom, I envision her to wear a custom-made full-length lace gown in champagne color with cap sleeve and a little v-neck. Her shoes will be low black strappy heels, her make up will be natural glam, her hair will be just like the picture above and her boutonniere will be the same like the father of the bride & groom. If my future husband has sister(s), they will be styled similarly, probably the dress with no sleeve, higher heels and loose curly hair.
I envision my ceremony to be either indoor or outdoor. The chairs are made out of dark-brown wood (like the picture) with no decoration on the chair. There will be scatters of white rose petals on the left and right side of the aisle (plus the candle if it's indoor). The altar is made out of 2 huge standing bouquet made out of variant of white rose, carnation, hydrangea, lily, dahlia and orchids. Those 2 pictures above are exactly what I envision it to be.
I envision my ride to be a black sedan, either BMW or Mercedes. There has to be a string quartet on my ceremony. The invitation is calligraphy, plain all-white and simple, no website whatsoever (RSVP is through e-mail). And the wedding band, I envision it to be very simple, with only a stud of diamond and each other's name engraved inside them, both from the dream brand of either Cartier or Harry Winston.
I want a small wedding of 150. I envision it mainly indoor at some place with wooden floor and ceiling-to-floor window (like the image on the left). Round tables with the same chairs as the ceremony's chairs, with no decor on the chair, and simple white cloth to cover the table. I envision the centerpiece to be as simple as possible; brown wooden vase with arrangement of white dendrobium, sweet pea and gladiolus with twigs coming out like the picture on the middle. There's no need for extravagant stage, the bride and groom only need the same chair with decoration on the back, mainly white hydrangea and lisianthus. There is absolutely no need to decorate the ceiling, the entrance nor the aisles. The dance floor is just some space set aside at the center of the venue. The band will be placed at the corner and the cake will only need a small table near the bride & groom's table.
I envision my wedding cake to be 3 tier black-velvet covered by white fondant, with white peonies decoration like the picture on the far left. I want a band, not a DJ. I want to serve my favourite champagne, which is Moët & Chandon. I envision the food to be fine dining; some kind of scallop appetizer, an entrée of beef and a soufflé as a dessert. My dream wedding favor is Godiva's wedding chocolate or mini Moët.
There you have it. My principle is that you are allowed to spend big in things that are last, like the rings & the dress and spend little like the decor and the cake.
I really hope my future husband (who are you?) will read this post. But don't freak out okay? It's only a dream.