IF ONLY I HAVE HANDS THAT DRAW ...

August 18, 2014

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For some of you who are new to this blog, here's a little fact for you ...
When I first started this blog, it was my path of expressing my feeling, either to whine, to comment, to protest or oftenly, to share. And I haven't done any of that for a while. Worst, I deleted my old posts; it was a big step up for me because it was like deleting parts of you that you might forget about. It's not a wise decision, but it's the right one, for specific reasons I can't tell you here. I was reckless then; I wrote with pretty much thin boundaries and it occurred to me that it wasn't good for the business, so I decided to lay off. But, as cheesy as it might sound, I am back now, with newly built boundaries, but it's still me afterall, whining ...

I am now approaching new semester as an accounting student, and am no longer freshman. But, as fresh as it is was the hurdle of choosing to be in this major a year ago. Many reasons were weighted as I finally decided to settle in this very university, taking this very major. Unfortunately, that settlement didn't come load-free ....

I have always had an indescribable interest in conceptual design & ideas. My mother was mistaken it for an interest (even a talent- so she thought) in drawing, so she hired a tutor for me. The lesson lasted for 8 years; it began with highlighting, then coloring with colored pencils, then crayons, then water color, and at last, oil color. I never had trouble in coloring; I wasn't that good, but it was still acceptable. Then came the part of sketching and drawing with pencils, then pen, then both on canvas. I still remember how my tutor, with his own conscience, let me draw anything I wanted, though it always ended up me, asking him to correct my sketches. It went on for 5 whole years, until my mom finally gave up over me, as I continuously talking her out to discharge me from the tuition, once and for all, for everyone's sake, and most importantly, out of my incapability of achieving something out of it. From then and on, I strongly against those who say that drawing can be taught or that it comes from a lot of practicing, as those beliefs only apply if you have a talent inside you, because if you're not, it'll just become unnatural. It's like watering an actual apple tree in hope of harvesting the fruits someday rather than watering a grape tree in hope of harvesting at least a single apple. 

Salvador Dali once said that "Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad;"  I guess the good part never comes along in my case. I can't pretty much tell whatever it is in my forte, but I've been planting this belief that conceptual design & ideas is one closest; never was science or math, never was accounting at last. Why did I choose accounting then? Because it is the only subject that will grant me a secure position in certain fields, and I prefer security rather than bliss on ... let's just say .. Visual Communication Design. Now I can heard a lot of shouting, saying things like "Come on! I can't draw and I graduated from VCD!" Here's my opinion : yes, you can survive without any drawing skill, but will it all just be easier if you can? 

Oh, if only I have hands that draw ... 
Never will my ideas and concepts are out of reach because I have no idea how to express it other than words and my own projectiles in mind.
Never will I copy others' works and alter it in such way they become mine.
And at last, never will I constraint myself in this very situation I mentally against .....
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