MY STORY OF BEING A TALL GIRL : THE PERKS AND THE PROBLEMS (AN ESSAY)

December 24, 2013

Living in a country in which short people are overriding can be a huge pain in the ass for an 18-year-old me who stands 5 foot 11 inches (180 centimeters) tall. Having people ask about my height and do the  inspection of gaping over my presence-checking down whether I'm wearing heels or not-finding out that I am not wearing any-direct the gaze up to my presence all over again-continue gaping, are my usuals. So yeah, being a tall girl has its own perks and problems, though most people judge from the perks only. I dedicated this post to all the tall girls and women out there and need I say that "I feel your pain."

///// THE PERKS

1. We can outrun you when there's a zombie invasion. These long legs are built to sprint, bitches.


///// THE PROBLEMS

1. We can never ever take a nap on a couch. We'll have backache, neckache, and calfache right after as a result of bending our body like a teddy bear.

2. We are everybody's handyman. Getting asked to put things on the top shelf and/ getting things from the top shelf are our usual commands. Though sometimes it can be a huge advantage for ourselves, we're getting tired of it.

3. Feeling like a leftover just because we have to stand on the back on every group photos. "You, the tall one, stand on the back! No no, a little over to the left. Yap, right there on the corner. Great, now stand still people!"

4. Getting tired of everyone saying "I wish I was your height". You have no idea people, no idea.

5. We are not basketball player. Could people just stop relating tall people with some athletic appellation??! I can't even shoot right, for God's sake!

6. An association with models. "You should be a model! Your height fits the crowds!" Oh like Lagerfeld would book someone with this kind of face, MY FACE.

7. Drinking fountain is definitely not a choice. The choice of erasing our thirst but getting a backache in return; not an option. There's a convenience store, they sell  water bottles.

8. The feeling of wanting to smack people in the face when they tell us how tall we are. "OMG YOU ARE SO TALL!" and we're like "OH REALLY?! I HAVE NO IDEA! No one has ever told me about that!"

9. It's either ducking or getting whacked by random tree branches or low-ceilings. Nuff said. And thanks for those who remind us by shouting "Watch your head!"; annoying but helpful. Really, thanks.

10. That voyeur moment you feel when the bathroom/dressing room door doesn't really cover your entire body. And oh, I can see you, the person next to me! That's a nice dress you have on!

11. Having man hands. This is such a turn off for guys, really.

12. The requirement to adjust the seat in someone else's car. Because I don't want my knees to make out with your dashboard, that's why.

13. The poor feet hanging off of the hotel's bed. Should I hang a bell on my toes? Ring ring ring. Ding ding ding.

14. Those bathub relaxation moment in a movie is bullshit. We have to choose; it's either the shoulder, the feet or the knees underwater. Be wise.

15. Crossing our legs when sitting on the desk is nearly impossible. Not if you want people to hear a loud BANG!

16. We are cursed to become a living statue in public transportation. Especially on a plane and a bus.

17. Smooth bendover is required whenever taking a bath in hotel's shower. Why don't people make an adjustable showerhead in this forsaken twenty first century??!!

18. Horrible balance. Because we are too long.

19. Bend down when taking pictures so that you won't look like Gandalf among dwarves with your friends. This may result to a horrible posture, really.

20. Having to sit up straight and legs up in cinema whenever people are crossing over. Because you don't want to trip people.

21. Backaches. Because we bend too much to tolerate those shorties.

22. Some mirrors are just designed to reflect our boobs. Because apparently, our face doesn't matter.

23. Awkward hugs. The choices are boob-to-face hug or tiring bend-down-to-reach-your-chest hug.

24. Getting shouted at because we walk too fast. Don't blame our long strides you short striders!

25. Wanting to kill people over "Cut me off some of your height!". Do you even have a brain?

26. It's OK to comment the tall, but it's NOT OK to comment the short. This isn't fair. Blergh.

27. "Please sit, you're blocking the view." It's your fault that you're so short that this big of Earth is not enough for you to see! (:

28. We are not a human shade. We are not sun-blocker and definitely not a wind-blocker, you self-egocentric shorties.

29. Unadjustable car headrest? Go die. We don't want to look like a limping-head pinocchio.

30. We can't never ever put a plate on our lap. Do we have to study gymnast to be able to eat? No? That's my point.

31. Sharing an umbrella can be tricky. The short one won't be able to reach up to our height and our umbrella-holding position won't protect the short one from the rain. Kay, let us just, you know, sprint our way out of the rain.

32. We look like a giant. Blame the big bone structure and its mass.

33. Being called a giant, goliath, gandalf, a tree, a giraffe, etc is normal for us. We've come to learn to laugh it off.

34. Seeing traffic light when your car is on the front position is a big challenge. Roll down the window please. Let me snuck my head out of the window like a dog. Yap, nice view.

35. Car shades are trouble. Put it down, it's blocking the view. Put it up, the sun is burning the sight. Where's my Ray Ban?

36. "Could you stand up? I wanna measure my height with you." Let me just answer "I'm 5'11" and you're short. Deal with it." :)

37. Bruises on hips came out of nowhere. Oh, it's from the door handle. Oh I get it now.

38. We don't look adorable, we look older than our actual age. Nuff said.

39. "What do you eat?" Tree branches. "How do you get so tall?" Ask God. "Which one is tall, your mom or your dad?" Their DNA is tall.

40. People look at you for your height, not you as a person. Right?

41. Clothing problem. We always buy one size larger so the length will fit ours, but not the width, so trimming is sometimes needed. Your top is our crop top, the long-sleeve isn't that long, a dress is a shirt, coat equals blazers, one size fits all is a big fat lie, ball gown and maxi dress are always in awkward length, and our jeans are always customized work.

42. No cute shoes for us. Because we have bigfoot's feet. And apparently, no stores sell bigfoot's shoes.

43. No heels rule. Unless you want to look like a walking skyscrapper and getting scolded at.

44. Love problem. It's a pain in the ass that the attractive guys are shorter than us and those tall-attractive guys are only attracted to petite girls. It's a pain in the ass when the short-good looking guys tell us that they would have dated us if we were shorter. It's common for people to predict that we'll have a hard time finding a spouse. It's impossible for us to have those romantic moments as in tiptoeing when kissing and head-to-chest hug. And we sometimes naturally attracted to guys who are taller than us, all facial features aside. Damn. 


///// NOT SURE WHETHER IT'S A PERKS OR A PROBLEM

1. Our presence shouts intimidation. It's kinda natural for people to feel intimidated around tall people, but somehow they mistaken us for being cocky. We are not cocky, we are just having a hard time matching our gaze with yours. 

2. Being the center of attention, whether we like it or not. Every road is a runway to us, tall people. Having people's gaze following our direction when we are walking down the street is ordinary for us. We also are an easy target to spot in the crowd. This can be a problem for those introverts and anti-socials, because the awkwardness and the insecurities kill.


There you have it people. Now, stop scolding us, the tall, and start respecting us for what we sacrifice and deal with everyday. 


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