August 22, 2013

"My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it."
Here's a brief confession : all the critics aside, I actually liked and enjoyed Chris Colombus's 2010 Percy Jackson and The Olympians : The Lightning Thief. It was fun and filled with star-studded (and certainly was a guilty pleasure) appearances like Uma Thurman, Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan and all. I didn't put any high hopes on this sequel directed by Diary of A Wimpy Kid's Thor Freudenthal, but I certainly can't lie that I was excited about it. Needless to say that I'm a big fan (and actually read all five of them) of the Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson's books. But don't worry, I'm being objective here. Keep on reading.

Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman)'s fame has faded as his heroic stardom slowly replaced by the amazing performances and achievements of God of War Ares's daughter, Clarisse La Rue (Leven Rambin). But that only stands before the unfortunate event of the breakage of Camp Half-Blood's invisible monster barrier due to the poisonous substances left on the Thalia's tree by the old enemy, Luke Castellan (Jake Abel). By the approval of Dionysius (Stanley Tucci) and Chiron (Anthony Head, who replaces Pierce Brosnan in The Lightning Thief), Percy, Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario), Grover (Brandon T.Jackson) and Percy's newly-emerged half-brother (half-cyclop, half-nymph, one-eyed, dreadlock, whatever) Tyson (Douglas Smith) once again go out on a quest to search for a golden fleece (which can restore anything back to life) to heal Thalia's tree. But, the quest won't be easy as they have to go to the sea of monsters (or Bermuda Triangle, known to human) and face the monsters and cyclops who guarded it, all while fighting Luke's plan to resurrect Kronos.

I gotta say, as a fan of the books, I'm highly dissapointed on how things are executed in the movie. Sure thing that they shouldn't be all too loyal as an adaption work, but at least give some vivid backstories to backup everything, not just emerge things out of the blue that leaves nothing but an utter mess. I would say it is highly unfortunate, especially for those who don't read the books, because Riordan's world is a complete upside down of the actual Greek's mythology. I was quite pleased when they offer a narration in the opening act, but then everything just got driften apart, vague and unfocused, leaving this big plot holes everywhere you turn your head on. It's thrilling and fast-paced, but everything seems to be all over the place. Even the storyline seems 'lazy' to me. The special effects don't really help; the CGI feels like a work of an amateur toying with odd pantone colors using a badly made flash player animation and Photoshop CS2. The monsters aren't really that impressive; Colcish Bull looks like Rolex's machinery gone bad and Charybdis is just worse. I didn't watch in 3D, so I can't comment much on that, but for your information only, a lot of people say it's not worth your money. It's a shame though, because I actually like (no, love) the standalone animation in Kronos' backstory; the startling stained-glass window comes to life is just magnificent. If only the rest of the effects could go like that. But, my biggest problem here is the lines; they are all downright corny and dopey, childish and not even funny. I know the lines in the books are like that, but hey, it's a book, and you sure know why you can't add that in the movie.

Unfortunate enough for the sequel for not having starstruck side-acts, but boy does this movie lack of character building! Not a single act impressed me. Amazing. Logan is just giving awkwardness and innocence, whining for daddy's attention. Daddario and Jackson can't even shine their sidekick (and lacking) moments. Honestly said, I fucking want to kill Annabeth here; she's supposed to be tough, fast and kickass, but all she does here is screaming "Percy! Percy!" WTH. Smith and Rambin provide quite a scene-stealer, but they both are easily forgotten as well. Tuccy and Head are quite amusing, but that's just it : a sugarcoat. But I couldn't help but say it that I gigglishly screamed in my head over Nathan Fillion's cameo (who replaces Dylan Neal's role as Hermes) and when he mentioned the cancelled series thingy, my thought was like "Oh Firefly?" #DontMindMe. Abel doesn't really scream villain; he seems to be too well-organized with lazy intention and later on shouts "Master .. master" like he's stupid enough not to realize the aftermath. And pleasee, killing one character won't hurt.

Finally said, I was so bored in the entire 105 minutes. It wasn't even fun, or mesmerizing, or inspiring. It was ... bland. Sadly to say, it goes for a rental.

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