July 22, 2013

I'm sure all of you had ever been to cinema, either to get a 2-hours getaway from reality or simply because you love watching movies. As a moviegoer and a (self-proclaimed) movie blogger, my frequency of going to cinema is slightly uncountable. I love watching movies at cinema; it's a pleasure, a leisure and slightly a demand. Not minding the quality of the movie, I always feel a sense of accomplishment and contentment every time I walk out through that exit door. But, for once in a while, I experience some disturbing occurrences regarding these kinds of people ...

I dare to bet that every living people reading this post right now have ever been to cinema at least TWICE in their life. And it's a universal knowledge that a movie starts when the time says it will. Usually, the studio opens 10 to 15 minutes before the showing time written on the ticket, so there's not an excuse for those who can't catch up. Why is this annoying? Because those latecomers, standing in the middle of the row, are blocking the view and yet still manage to take some times on searching their seats.
Level of annoyance : 3/5  |   Frequency : 4/5

No. Having long legs is not an excuse. I'm 5'11" and my legs are undeniably long, but still, I try my best not to touch the seat in front of me with my lovely sneakers. It's rude to bang a person's head you know.
Level of annoyance : 2/5  |   Frequency : 2/5 

Popcorns aren't being sold at the concession bar as a signature; it has its own purpose. Popcorn doesn't have that distinguish smell that could attract people into imagining some blasted corn seeds running around with a knife trying to stab them in the heart while watching Scream. So, quit your chicken fingers. This is a cinema, not a restaurant. 
Level of annoyance : 3/5  |   Frequency : 1/5  

I don't forbid kids to go to cinema, especially when Toy Story is showing. But please, do not bring your kids to see an action or horror movies. Besides it's age-inappropriate, your kids may disturb others who actually want to enjoy the movie without hearing your kids screaming, crying, laughing or even shouting and asking to go home.
Level of annoyance : 4/5  |   Frequency : 3/5   

Doesn't the "CINEMA" sign at the front gate big enough for you to realize that this is not a brothel house where you can openly kiss your spouse?! I know, the atmosphere is very bewitching; dark, quite, and intense, but remember, you are not the show. Go get a room.
Level of annoyance : 3/5  |   Frequency : 1/5    

I don't care how broad your knowledge about the movie is. I don't care how boring you are because you've watched the movie for the third time. DO NOT RUIN THE SURPRISE. You want me to stuff your mouth with a stuffed socks?
Level of annoyance : 5/5  |   Frequency : 3/5     

For these kinds, it's simple. You don't feel satisfy about the movie and you feel like you can't sit there any longer; feel free to leave the theatre. Respect the others who actually paid the tickets to see the movie, not to hear your complains.
Level of annoyance : 5/5  |   Frequency : 2/5      

Ever heard blog? Or website? Or Facebook? That's where normal people post their ideas about the movie they've just watched. Normal classified as in : after the movie, not in the middle where no one give a damn about anything you're saying. Keep it to yourself and pour it out later.
Level of annoyance : 5/5  |   Frequency : 2/5    

Oh, you're trying to impress your girlfriend by acting like a sitting human IMDb? Shut it. We don't want to hear you bragging about the name of the director or what movie he has directed .. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW. And more to it, we do have our own internet connection and we do know a space-age thing called Google.
Level of annoyance : 5/5  |   Frequency : 2/5

"Who's that? What is he doing there?" SHUT. THE. HELL. UP. If you can't understand the movie, then you have to realize that you are far below the target audiences, which are average. Read some books. Or even better, try to sleep out your confusion.
Level of annoyance : 5/5  |   Frequency : 4/5 

One time he adjusted his seat, one time he got up pulling up his pants, another time he sighed, another time he coughed; Oh boy, I might as well kill you in sight. If you can't sit quietly, you have a problem. My advice is for you to take a stuffed doll everywhere so you can play with it whenever anxiety attacks. 
Level of annoyance : 4/5  |   Frequency : 2/5  

You have a set of eyes, use it to see the seat numbers correctly. Or if you're that dumb, you also have a mouth; ask for anyone's help. I don't like your butts warming up my seat even before I enter the theatre. 
Level of annoyance : 2/5  |   Frequency : 1/5   

There are two things people do as precautions before they enter the theatre : they don't drink too much or if they do, they'll take a pee before entering the studio. It's a human nature, I know, but it pisses me off when my sights are plastered on the big-screen and I hear an "Excuse me" which forces to straighten up my sitting and fold my long legs awkwardly. 
Level of annoyance : 3/5  |   Frequency : 3/5    

This type normally comes from a gang of premature men. I know the scene is utterly awesome because I happen to watch it as well, but save your curses; it's disturbing and rude.
Level of annoyance : 3/5  |   Frequency : 2/5     

It's funny, but it isn't that funny that you have to laugh that loud .. and long. It's scary, but it isn't that scary that you have to scream that hard. It's intriguing, but it isn't that intriguing that you have to shriek in such excitement. Be normal. Be average. Be human.
Level of annoyance : 4/5  |   Frequency : 5/5      

I don't care if your cat dies or your boyfriend wants to elaborate how much he loves you. The flashing light comes from your phone's screen shows too much saturation to the studio's darkness, so it is disturbing in the eyes. So, if it's that important, kindly leave the theatre for a while. DO NOT RECEIVE A CALL IN A GODAMN STUDIO as well. 
Level of annoyance : 5/5  |   Frequency : 5/5 

FYI, I wasn't making up all the things listed above; I experienced it and maybe I will again, later on. So, if you are one of those people listed above, kindly seek for a self-realization. If you still can't quit it, go see a psychiatrist. And if your reason is, "I paid for the ticket", then I have to say, "FOR HELL SURE I DID TOO. LET'S THROW HOT DOGS TO EACH OTHER, SHALL WE?"

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