The Expendables 2

August 23, 2012

The Expendables 2
" Back for War."

The Expendables are back and this time it’s personal… Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren),Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) — with newest members Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) and Maggie (Yu Nan) aboard — are reunited when Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) enlists the Expendables to take on a seemingly simple job. The task looks like an easy paycheck for Barney and his band of old-school mercenaries. But when things go wrong and one of their own is viciously killed, the Expendables are compelled to seek revenge in hostile territory where the odds are stacked against them. Hell-bent on payback, the crew cuts a swath of destruction through opposing forces, wreaking havoc and shutting down an unexpected threat in the nick of time — six pounds of weapons-grade plutonium; enough to change the balance of power in the world. But that’s nothing compared to the justice they serve against the villainous adversary who savagely murdered their brother. That is done the Expendables way….

There was the time when I watched a movie at the cinema couple months ago with my parents, The Expendables 2 trailer showed up. I remember I had the major laugh that time when my father randomly said, "Will somebody stop Stallone?! He may have Willis, Norris and others' name appear as stone-rock 3D, being slaply thrown into our sight, but that's just it. He offers us nothing but aging action of some rambos, wasting bullets into bulletproof glass." And my father probably just right.

Church : "Barney Ross. You made me a deal. I could've put you in the deepest, darkest hole, but I kept you out because I knew that one day would come when you were gonna pay me back - and today's that day."

The aging alphas assemble is now back, again, dragging Simon West to mortalize their pretty fucked up journey. And now, they have a new task from Church (Bruce Willis) -as a payback of what they did on The Expendables : to save tons of plutonium from bad guy that is known as Vilain (played by Jean-Claude Van Damme who looks like a terrified vampire wearing black glasses all the time), with the help of the new kid in the gang, Billy (Liam Hemsworth) and the asian badass chick, Maggie (Nan Yu). Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) once again lift up their guns, shooting heroicly in an old-man slow motion kinda way, along with the spluttering fake bloods, ridiculously stupid humors and the look that says "I'm a fucking bad ass .. TRETETETETET BOOM KABOOM SHAK SHAK TRETETETETET!"

Lee Christmas : "What's the plan?"
Barney Ross : "Track 'em, find 'em, kill 'em."

If you want to make a movie, will you at least write a decent story? Because The Expendables certainly is the real proof of no-story movie, just some badass veteran, shooting and killing everyone in sight, walking like they rule the world. The plot is completely messed up; there's no intention, the climax is just BLAH and the ending is just .. well those guys always win, don't they? Not to mention the low quality of the ratio; man, I felt noises everywhere. Worst thing worst, I have no fucking idea how Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger appear out of nowhere, acting like a damned savior. Pretty pretty please ...

Barney Ross : "Why is it the ones who deserve to live, that want to live the most, die - and the ones that don't deserve to live, keep on going?"

Bottom line, I really was having a hard time judging whether this movie considered to be a top-rated video game played by some geeky Asian or is it just a comedic parody of an actual great movie in parallel universe? I guess the tagline should be "Rust In Pieces".

Church : [to Ross] "Who do you think you are, Rambo?"


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